Men's program · First group forming
The Pattern Work Program
A live, guided passage through the process in Dr. Jaffe's two books, with him in the room and a small group of men walking it at the same time. For the man who has read the books, or taken the Snapshot, and knows that knowing isn't the same as changing.
Join the waitlist
The Pattern Work Program is a guided group education program led by a licensed psychotherapist. It is not group psychotherapy and does not replace individual treatment. Men outside California are welcome. If you're in California and want individual therapy with Dr. Jaffe, that's a separate door: request a therapy consultation.
Who it's for
The books were written for one kind of man. So is the program.
- You've built a life most people would call successful, and you've stopped feeling it.
- You've read The War Within or The Pattern Work, or taken the Snapshot, and recognized yourself. Probably in more than one pattern.
- You've tried understanding the problem. Insight helped for a while. The pattern came back.
- You want to do the actual work, in the order it needs to be done, with someone who's done it with hundreds of men.
- You'd rather do it alongside a few other men who carry the same weight than alone in a book.
It's not for a man in crisis, a man looking for a quick reset, or a man who wants to observe from the back of the room. The group is small enough that everyone participates.
The process, in the order the books lay it out
The Pattern Work is built in five parts. So is the program. Each phase is a few weeks with Dr. Jaffe and the group, working through the chapters, the practices, and your own material.
The eight patterns and how they form. Why your nervous system keeps a ledger that never closes. Learning to read your own tell, the thing your body does before you've said a word.
Dr. Jaffe's five-tier ladder, applied to you: the pattern you lead with, the pattern beneath it, what sets it off, what it has already cost, and how fast you can bear to look. This is the phase most men have never done properly.
Naming the pattern and grieving what it cost. The experiments that let a man say the sentence he's been avoiding. Arriving at a different answer to the question that shaped him.
The work each pattern specifically needs. A Guarded Controller and a Conflict Avoider don't loosen the same way. This is where the group splits into the men who share your pattern.
The man who's left when the pattern is gone. The room you share with a partner. The daily practice that keeps it. How to keep doing this work after the group ends.
The War Within runs alongside as the story the process is drawn from: the awakening, the descent, the work, the rebuilding, and the return.
What the first group will look like
The first group runs live with Dr. Jaffe. Later groups may be recorded and self-paced. If you want the version with him in it, this is the one.
- LengthThree to four months, one phase at a time
- FormatWeekly live sessions with Dr. Jaffe by video, plus the books and the practices between sessions
- Group sizeSmall. Capped so every man is seen and heard every week.
- Who leads itDr. Jaffe personally. Not a facilitator, not a recording.
- InvestmentShared with men on the waitlist before enrollment opens. This is a serious commitment of Dr. Jaffe's time and yours; it is priced accordingly.
- TimingThe first group forms when the books are published and enough men are ready. The waitlist hears first.
Join the waitlist
No commitment. You'll hear when the books publish, when the first group has dates, and what it costs, in that order. Dr. Jaffe will also reach out to men on the list before enrollment opens, so the first group is made of men who fit.
If it turns out not to be for you, you'll know before you're asked for anything.
While you wait
Take the free 48-Question Stress Pattern Snapshot. The program starts with the map; the Snapshot is your first look at it. Ten to fifteen minutes, results on screen, no call attached.
The Pattern Work Program is an educational group program and is not psychotherapy, a diagnosis, or a treatment recommendation. Individual therapy with Dr. Jaffe is available to California residents. Not an emergency service; if you are in crisis, call 988 or 911. Program details above are planned and may change before enrollment opens.