About Dr. Jaffe
Forty years of listening to men who don't usually talk.
Robert Jaffe has been a licensed psychotherapist in Encino, California since 1984. Most of that time has been spent with high-functioning men who look fine from the outside and know, privately, that something isn't.
PhD · Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, California #19513 · Certified Ericksonian Hypnotherapist · In practice since 1984
A note from Dr. Jaffe
For over forty years I've sat across from people who had reached the point where holding it all together just wasn't working anymore. If you've landed on this page, there's a reasonable chance that's you.
You're strong, capable, and by most measures successful. And something underneath feels stuck. It might show up as stress that never fully drains, a marriage that has gone quiet, a drink at the end of the day that has become less of a choice, or simply the sense that you did what you were supposed to do and it doesn't feel the way it was supposed to feel.
My job isn't to fix you. You're not broken. My job is to help you see the patterns you built to get through life, most of them long before you had any say in the matter, and to help you loosen the ones that have stopped serving you. That work goes deeper than talking about it. It reaches the part of you that learned those patterns in the first place.
People often describe our sessions as grounded, direct, and, somewhat to their surprise, occasionally funny. You can expect me to listen carefully, tell you the truth, and go at a pace that's right for you.
Robert B. JaffePhD, LMFT · Encino, California
How the work actually goes
Dr. Jaffe works from Multi-Dimensional Relational Therapy, a framework he developed with Dr. Mitra Rashidian. In plain terms: he draws on several disciplines and chooses the right one for the person in the room, rather than running everyone through the same method.
- The first session is yoursYou do the talking. He listens for what's underneath before suggesting anything.
- Honest feedback, not clinical distanceYou'll hear what he actually thinks, said with care.
- Tools you can use between sessionsJournaling prompts, self-hypnosis recordings, and practical ways to steady yourself when old patterns fire.
- Hypnotherapy when it helpsEricksonian clinical hypnosis, eyes open or closed, for patterns that don't shift through conversation alone.
- Week to week, no long-term contractYou stay as long as it's useful. One week's notice when you're done is appreciated.
Think of me as a guide in your own workshop. We shape the work with the tools that fit your story, not the tools I happen to prefer.
Dr. Robert Jaffe
Training and approaches he draws on
Relational and psychoanalytic psychotherapy, Ericksonian clinical hypnosis, cognitive and behavioral methods, mindfulness and somatic awareness, and guided journaling, combined within the MDRT framework he developed with Dr. Mitra Rashidian.
The pattern work
Over four decades, Dr. Jaffe noticed that high-achieving men tend to carry stress in a small number of recognizable ways. He named eight of them: the Hyper-Driven Responder, the Emotional Container, the Self-Reliant Isolator, the Guarded Controller, and four others.
Those eight patterns became the basis of two books and a free assessment that lets a man see which ones he's running in about fifteen minutes.
Take the Free Stress Pattern SnapshotYou don't have to be in crisis to start.
Most of the people Dr. Jaffe works with are highly functional. They've simply reached the point where functioning isn't enough.
- High-achieving menSuccessful by every external measure and privately worn down by it.
- CouplesPartners who still love each other and have stopped reaching each other.
- People carrying old traumaBoth the large kind and the small, cumulative kind. Worked through gently, without reliving every detail.
- Men who unwind with a drinkOr with work, or screens, or anything else that has quietly stopped being optional.
- People at a turning pointStepping out of survival mode and into a life that feels like their own.
- Coaching clients anywhereForward-focused wellness coaching by video, available outside California.
Common questions
Two ways to begin.
If you want to understand what you're carrying before you talk to anyone, take the free Snapshot. If you already know you want to work with Dr. Jaffe, request a therapy consultation.
In person in Encino. Video throughout California. Coaching available worldwide.